Pairing: HenMi, KyuMin, HyukHae, SiBum . YeWook(Main!), but not just yet :)
Rating: PG-13 for swearing and innuendos (The sexual kind.)
Genre: AU, Romance, Comedy , sadly I have to add angst! :(
Disclaimer: FIRST FANFIC! YAYS! Of course I own them… >.>
Notes: AMEN TO SPELLCHECK! Please read, comment and Critique! Remember, I can’t find out where you live and beat you up. I think. Maybe if you let me know your name, age and address… ^-^
Summary: Kim Ryeowook always knew he was not normal for his age. Despite this knowledge, he had never really known how odd he really was until he had shrunk down to 6 inches. Though, that’s getting ahead of the story.
(Pssh, Summary skills? What summary skills?)
Ryeowook woke up sharply, panic rising in his chest as his hand searched blindly for his alarm clock. He sighed in relief once he had checked the red glowing numbers. 6:45. Exactly 50 minutes before the others woke up.
Being very careful not to rouse the pink lump snoring in the bed beside him, Ryeowook snuck out of his room pink panther style and down the hallway. It was time to start on Hankyungs Birthday gift.
A few days before Ryeowook had discovered the chore’s list drooping ominously in front of him. Unfortunately it had come attached to the manicured hand of a disgruntled Heechul. Of course Ryeowook, having just entered the dorm had not yet been added to the list and wouldn’t be for a couple more days. This apparently was enough to trigger the despondent Heechul’s temper tantrum. (“But I don’t CARE if he’s a newbie! I refuse to clean the toilet if there is a perfectly good slave here to do it for me!” “…Slave?” “YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN TEUKIE!”)
Ryeowook had laughed victoriously at Heechul when it looked as if Leeteuk wasn’t going to change his mind, from a very safe distance away. He had done the math; an unhappy Chullie is equal to an unhappy Wookie.
But that was beside the point. Ryeowook, as soon as he had figured out what he was doing for Hankyung’s birthday, had gone to double check the chore list to see if his mega-awesome plan would work out. He had found it hanging from the kitchen cabinet. Hs finger trailed down crumpled list to reach ‘Cooking: Hankyung’ and stop. Ryeowook smirked. It was just as he suspected. Only Hankyung would sign himself up to make breakfast on his own birthday.
Ryeowook quickly got out his required cooking utensils and a large bowl before making his way to the fridge. He collected milk, and eggs out of the fridge and laid them on the counter, making to count the eggs. He then got out a tiny (PURPLE!!!!) stepladder he had found the other day from underneath the sink and placed it in front of the counter. There was a limit on what he could do without a little boost in the height department; he had found that out his second day here when he had wanted to make some tea and couldn’t reach and turn the stove on.
Once he had climbed up on the ladder, wobbling a little before gaining his balance he carefully measured flour into one of the bowls, sifting it for perfection. He mixed together the milk, eggs, and flour and starting stirring the gluey concoction. If there were one thing Ryeowook knew how to do well besides cleaning, cooking would be it. And then maybe sewing, but even Ryeowook didn’t want to get into that. Not after his mother had made him her dress model for a whole entire year…
Ryeowook shuddered at the thought of pins sticking painfully into his sides and hours standing on a podium in a dress. A Frilly dress. With bows. Never again!
Ryeowook pushed the haunting recollections out of his mind and swiped some of the batter with his finger, sticking it in his mouth to get a taste. Hmm. He considered, tilting his head to one side. He tapped his finger on his nose, transferring flour to the tip of it. Something was missing…
Ryeowook hopped off the stepladder and quickly dragged it over to the painted cabinets. Wincing a bit, (No matter how much Donghae defended his Barney, the colors still made Ryeowook cringe) he opened a cabinet door and pulled out a container of cinnamon and a vial of vanilla. He dragged the stepladder back to the counter littered with eggshells and dirty measuring cups. He stirred a pinch of each extra ingredient in and tasted the batter once more. Perfect. .
Ryeowook heated up a pan on the stove and put a little butter on it. Once that had melted he started pouring the batter into the pan in carefully executed dollops. After it had made a medium sized circle he stopped with flow of batter and focused on cooking. He let himself go on autopilot as he expertly flipped the pancakes and waited for the others to wake up.
He didn’t have to wait for long, since 30 minutes later a sluggish Hankyung entered the kitchen; His eyes were closed and he was sniffing the air, smiling. “What’s that beautiful smell?” Hankyung asked breathlessly, obviously hoping he wasn’t dreaming. Ryeowook finished placing the finishing touches on the table (A giant bottle of syrup) and leaped over to cover Hankyung’s eyes just as they were fluttering open.
“It’s a surprise!” He giggled; the exaggerated pout Hankyung was sporting more than enough to amuse him.
“Ryeowook, you’re younger than me! You can’t boss me around.”
“You still can’t open your eyes.”
“But Ryeowook! It’s my Birthday!”
“Fine,” Ryeowook said in mock defeat, giving into the birthday boy. He removed his hands from Hankyungs eyes and took a couple steps backwards. Hankyung opened his eyes to the sight of steaming pancakes piled high on 3 different plates. (Ryeowook had reasoned that when there are hungry boys around you always should be prepared.)
Hankyung froze before the glorious image in front of him, his eyes darting over to Ryeowook. He asked, stunned, “Did you make all this Ryeowook?”
Ryeowook could feel himself flushing as he replied shyly, yet proudly, “ Happy Birthday Hankyung.”
In a flash Hankyung moved from his spot in front of the wobbling tower of hotcakes and glomped Ryeowook.
“Xie Xie Ryeowook.” Hankyung exclaimed from above his head.
Then Hankyung pulled back, a puzzled look on his face. “But how did you know it was my Birthday? We all agreed not to tell you!”
Ryeowook was confused and told Hankyung as much.
“We didn’t want you to feel pressured into getting something only because it was my birthday.”
So there was a reason after all.
“I just saw the calendar and wanted to get you something. And since this was the only thing I could think of on short notice…”
“It’s fine Ryeowookie!” Ryeowook smiled at the new nickname and allowed his hair to be ruffled lightly.
A loud bang followed by just as loud curses came from the entrance, interrupting his and Hankyung’s moment. Shortly afterward a cross-looking Kangin appeared rubbing his head. Ryeowook grinned, guessing what had happened.
“I swear, the door’s height changes everyday so no matter how much I duck, I always get- HOLY MOTHER OF SIWON! PANCAKES!”
Ryeowook scuttled out of the way of the hungry giant.
He tried to escape the kitchen, only to be blocked by a sleepy Heechul wearing an outlandish nightshirt. “Hannie, I smell pancakes. I want some now.”
“Hey! It’s my birthday! I get them first!” Hankyung replied, though he scooped the pancakes onto two plates. He handed one to Heechul and sat down at the table.
Ryeowook looked on nervously as Heechul and Kangin started to take giant bites. He hoped he had gotten the recipe correct; otherwise his effort would have gone to waste. His stomach started to clench after he saw Hechul’s eyes widen. He had just shut his eyes and braced for extreme shrieking, when Heechul exclaimed,
“Oh my fucking God what are these? These have to be the best pancakes I have ever eaten in the world! Hannie, WHAT DID YOU DO? These are fucking GODLY I TELL YOU! GODLY! And I’m atheist!”
Kangin merely settled for stuffing his face full of more pancakes and grunting loudly in enjoyment. Ryeowook took this as a good sign.
“I didn’t do anything. It was Ryeowook’s birthday gift for me.”
Heechul’s head swiveled over Ryeowook, eyeing him viciously. “Fuck. You.” Ryeowook looked up at him shocked.
“Way to blow our gifts out of the freaking water Ryeowook. You weren’t even supposed to have gotten him a gift! Not to mention the first one!”
Ryeowook gaped as Heechul began ranting, pounding his silverware on the table every so often for emphasis. “First you fucking clean the whole dorm until it SPARKLES and totally steal Siwon’s whole gift idea, and now it turns out you can cook too?! Are you a robot? I SAY, ARE YOU A ROBOT?” Oops. Ryeowook was probably supposed to answer that last one.
“It doesn’t even matter anymore, does it now? I expect you to make it up to me for ruining the dramatic climax of my gift! SLAVE NUMBER TWO COMMENCE!”
Heechul pointed imperiously at the napkin holder on the counter, then back to him. Ryeowook hurried to grab a napkin and place it delicately in Heechul’s lap. After all, he did feel bad for ruining apparently a situation he had completely no idea about…. Come think, wasn’t it all their faults for not telling him in the first place? How did the blame get to be on him?
Ryeowook had just come back to the table to ask that when Heechul pulled a bag from underneath the chair he was sitting on. I didn’t see that when he came in. Ryeowook shrugged. Obviously Heechul’s mind worked in strange ways. Strange ninja-freakish ways.
“Here ya go Hannie. One completely perfect-well almost perfect-,” Heechul paused to shoot Ryeowook a dirty look, “Birthday gift! Open up!” Hankyung grabbed the bag excitedly, flinging the tissue paper filling the package everywhere and pulling out a pair of shoes.
Hankyung looked at Heechul in amazement. “Are these?”
“Yep. One pair of mint condition dance shoes!”
While Ryeowook had gotten a giant bear hug out of Hankyung when he had presented his gift, Heechul had got a full out make-out session. Honestly, Ryeowook preferred the hug.
Ryeowook really didn’t want to ruin the touching moment between Heechul and Hankyung because first of all he’d rather keep his life, secondly because he REALLY LIKED BEING ALIVE, but his curiosity overwhelmed him.
“Ryeowook go away unless you want me to bury you in a ditch somewhere.” Heechul replied, as predicted. Unfortunately his boyfriend was perfectly willing to listen to their newest addition.
Heechul let out a frustrated groan.
“Yeah. I go for lessons every day after school. You didn’t notice?”
“Sort of. I mean, I could tell you were really graceful and all but I didn’t know you did dance.”
Heechul snorted. “He really isn’t at all graceful, especially in be-“
“OKAY Chullie that’s enough for the little one’s ears! It’s bad enough that you make-out in front of the poor child!”
Leeteuk and Siwon had swooped out of nowhere, Siwon covering a struggling Heechul’s mouth and Leeteuk covering confused Ryeowook’s ears.
“Leeteuk! Heechul was just about to tell me something!” Ryeowook whined and pulled Leeteuks hands off his ears. “I wanted to know what it was!”
“We’ll tell you when your older, Ryeowook. Now eat your pancakes.”
Ryeowook pouted and angrily stabbed his fork into a plate of pancakes that had mysteriously appeared in front of him. Siwon took his hand off of Heechul’s mouth and started digging in as well.
The rest of the crew had begun to wake up and were slowly filing into the kitchen. They had each grabbed a plate stacked with pancakes and had begun to consume them. Noises of satisfaction were heard all around.
“Wow! Hankyung these are really good! You should make more!” Came from Shindong.
“Ohmigod! I have died and gone to heaven!” Was a satisfied Sungmin’s proclamation.
Even Kibum gave out a whispered, “I didn’t know you knew how to make pancakes Hankyung.”
Ryeowook, though, grew redder and redder at all the compliments, even though they weren’t aimed at him. He suddenly didn’t feel hungry anymore. He put his plate in front of Shindong and tried once more to escape the kitchen, dodging Siwon’s horse half as it swung to catch up the rest of his body, both Leeteuk and Heechul’s wings, and Eunhyuk’s tree. (Why was the boy carrying a tree in the first place?)
But yet again he was thwarted. Stupid Traitor! Ryeowook thought as Hankyung called out, “Oh! I didn’t make them! Ryeowook did!”
Ryeowook swore he could hear all the head’s of his dorm-mates swing to face him. He froze an inch away from the door and reluctantly turned around. Everyone was staring at him. Again.
“Ryeowook made them?” A surprised Leeteuk exclaimed, nudging a still-eating Kangin. Once Kangin had nodded in confirmation Leeteuk gasped. “You cook?” The pancake Yesung had snatched from Henry fell off his fork and onto the table with a loud splat.
Donghae leaped over Eunhyuk’s tree to stand in front of Ryeowook. “Maybe Heechul’s robot theory wasn’t so off after all.” Donghae felt Ryeowook’s forehead and checked his throat for a pulse.
“Told you so.” Heechul said contently, licking the extra syrup of his fork.
“Oh don’t be ridiculous. I think it’s wonderful he can do both! He’s an example for us all!” Leeteuk exclaimed clapping his hands together. Ryeowook was faced with a round of glares. He had a sneaking suspicion he had been made some sort of teacher’s pet.
“Aish! Well this totally makes our gifts look bad!” Henry proclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.
“I repeat. I. Told. You. So.” Heechul was now humming happily, digging into more pancakes.
Ryeowook internally groaned. This was definitely not how it was supposed to go. It was supposed to make people HAPPY for Simba’s sake! Not mad at him again!
“Its fine! It’s fine! I’m looking forward to my other gifts as well!” Hankyung said calmly, quickly placating the irritated crowd.
“You are just lucky these are so good, else I would claw your eyeballs out. Stupid Cyborg.” Kyuhyun said waving his fork around maniacally.
The threat didn’t make Ryeowook any less anxious, and he decided that this was officially his cue to duck out of the kitchen before more came along. He wasn’t particularly hungry anyways.
Right as he was about to exit the kitchen, he remembered something and turned around.
“Heechul, if I’m slave number two, who is slave number one?”
Heechul grinned. “Shindong.”
Ryeowook skedaddled before Shindong could start up another argument and went back to his room to go get ready. As he got dressed, he smiled to himself. Today was definitely going to be a better day.
A couple weeks later found Ryeowook in the Twilight dorm, sitting at his desk in his room attempting to do the homework that had piled up. Ryeowook had made it a few weeks without thinking of his parents, his dorm situation (Though seeing Kyuhyun every day in class did not help), and his ‘Fixie’ problem. It wasn’t that he was purposely forgetting them; it was just that his schedule didn’t allow time to think of things like that.
Ryeowook had found out very soon that the classes offered at the Academy were not of the ordinary variety. Unless you counted ‘Gnomish’ and ‘Enchanted Herbology’ as normal courses. Ryeowook was at least 5 chapters behind in each class, and he now considered the thought of catching up as nonexistent. Of course, Ryeowook still had the standard classes of English, Math, and Chemistry. But he wasn’t doing so well at those either.
“I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING!” Ryeowook screamed. Magical Mathematics and Theories did nothing for his stress level. The teachers, being as nice as they were, had decided to go ‘easy’ on Ryeowook since he was just starting out. And by ‘easy’ they meant giving him so much catch up work he could hardly breathe, let alone think.
Deep breathes. Thought Ryeowook as he clutched his head and went back to solving the Parallel theories of the travel transportation magic. Ick and double ick. He lasted for 5 more minutes then dropped his head down on the desk. He was never going to get it.
Soon Ryeowook heard a knock on the doorway. Why can’t they all leave me alone? “Hey. I come baring gifts!” He lifted up his head in time to see Leeteuk pop his head around the door and enter the room. Ryeowook was more excited to see the tray full of giant cookies Leeteuk had placed in front of him. Never mind. They can bother me all they want, thought Ryeowook as he dug into the warm, gooey, chocolate chip cookie.
“How did you know I needed sustenance?” Ryeowook grinned up at his senior, taking another bite out of the cookie. “I heard you scream. You know, you could always ask Kyuhyun to help. He’s a genius at this kind of stuff.” Leeteuk suggested before patting Ryeowook’s head and leaving Ryeowook to the rest of his torture. Ryeowook rolled his eyes. Like Kyuhyun would be willing to help him.
But it sadly was worth a shot. Ryeowook really wasn’t doing to well on his math homework. Or whatever the heck it was because if it was just math then he would be able to figure it out logically.
Ryeowook got up from his desk and made for the door. As he was going to go and beg Kyuhyun for help, something popped into his mind.
You know, right now there is no possible way you can force any more knowledge into your head.
Then what will I do?
Okay brain. You scare me sometimes.
I scare most people.
Just think Heebum, Ryeowook. Think. Heebum.
Ryeowook smirked. There was no way his homework was getting done tonight.
Yesung walked down the hallway towards his room, holding Ddangkoma and chatting to it quietly. “You know, Ddangkoma, I still have homework to do, so I’ll just feed you now. Ok?”
Ddangkoma just stared at him.
“Ddangkoma. Why won’t you acknowledge me?” Yesung wailed. It was bad enough that his turtle never seemed to want to stay in his aquarium but now he wasn’t even talking back to his owner! This was just unheard of!
Ddangkoma, while his owner had been ranting about the duties a pet owed its master, had turned his head around and was now staring off into some random corner. Yesung tried to see what he was looking at, and then shrugged. As far as he could tell it was just a shadow.
Yesung walked past the spot Ddangkoma was so fixed on and stopped again. Maybe it was just his senses messing with him, but he could swear someone was staring at him. Yesung turned around sharply, only to catch something black fly out of the corner and tackle his midsection.
“HIYAH!” The black blur yelled as he covered Yesung’s eyes with a blindfold and shoved him in some random direction.
“WHAT THE HE—“
Yesung tried to yell before something clamped his mouth shut. Yesung struggled against his assailant but it was to no avail. Somehow the thing wrapped around his waist was surprisingly strong. Yesung was aware that he was being moved and was shoved down on something soft, then Yesung felt pressure on his legs. Someone was sitting on them. Someone human? From what Yesung could tell it was certainly alive, and not an animal. He was playing a guessing game as to which stalker had come to kidnap him next, when the blindfold came off.
Yesung blinked once, his eyes adjusting to the light, and focused on the figure in front of him.
A/N: Just so y’all know, I suffered for this chapter. My dog fell asleep on my head a couple days ago while I had fallen asleep on the couch. For normal people this wouldn’t be a problem, however I have the brilliant quality of never being normal. And so I, being allergic to dogs (Don’t ask me why I have one. It was my family’s decision, not mine.) ended up with a swollen throat, making it so I couldn’t talk. And then I got a cold. So really, I wrote this chapter squinting out of swollen eyes and hacking into tissues. All out of my love for you guys. SO COMMENT DAMMIT! (<3)